Hijo de la muerta def. Red kroovy
Dark matchlos rebeldes del bien def. Sludge society
Dark matchharvey francis def. Waffug
We depart from the elementary opening of razor wrestling on grbg and enter the treacherous and lawless parking lot of bobby shitake arena. The parking lot is bustling with employees and in the distance you can hear fans screaming.
Dick delaire: wrestling fans, we look forward to seeing you at razor wrestling on grbg. Everyone, and them you see in modern times is the parking lot at bobby shitake arena in the capital of gambling, nevada.
Fiona matz: these people are aware of that, dick. The stage statement explains it sufficiently.
Dick delorier: of course. How silly of me.
In the parking lot, we watch reed ashford's gosuto sutori sitting on the hood of a black 1987 cadillac brougham. Ashford is smoking a cigarette, his eyes hidden by black ray ban wayfarers glasses. He is dressed in a black t-shirt and jeans, a street-fighting uniform.
Ride ashford: i was hoping one-eyed jack would accept my invitation. I said a lot of nasty things about him. I asked him to meet me at our place, but i've been waiting for over an hour now. I've seen almost the entire crew arrive, so... No jack.
Reid ashford takes a drag on his cigarette.
Reid ashford: i was hired knowing that this condition would not have the guts to come and meet me face to face.As unfortunate as it is, for the rest of you who are profile fans, i say something to you that will break your heart. One-eyed jack. He's soft. The world of razor wrestling is just too hard on him...
From the shadows, jack mcgrath walks onto the stage, dressed in a white t-shirt and black jeans. A simple black bandage covers his mangled eye. He breathes heavily, looking at ashford.
Jack mcgrath: i've heard everything, ashford. And i'm not impressed with your theater. You think razor wrestling is old fashioned much to me? I was the guy who lost his fucking eye and wrestled on a later show.
Mcgrath heads over to gosuto sutori.
Jack mcgrath: maybe drinking like that alters your reality. I can smell his ambergris from here. Absolutely everything i'm aware of is exactly something i'm made for this kind of shit. 14 days ago, i promised the fans that i would be a better man...
One more click forward.
Jack mcgrath: and i'm ready to prove it - just now. And why don't you take off those stupid sunglasses and never go forward?
Reid ashford: i thought you'd never ask.
Eshford slides off the hood of the transport and prospectively removes the sunglasses that protect your eyes from the sun. He takes one last puff of his cigarette and throws the packet into mcgrath's face! It enters mcgrath's eye, and before he can recover, ashford pins him to the ground with a double leg kick.
Fiona matz: i'm surprised that so much attention has passed while the vorotavtomatika company was able to have a good old fashioned brawl in the parking lot!
Ashford tries to grab mcgrath, but is pushed away. Ashford tries to advance to his feet, but mcgrath puts his head down and hits a shoulder strike to the center of ashford's body. Ashford slams mcgrath against the concrete pillar, but mcgrath breaks mcgrath's grip with a double axe kick to the back! Ashford sends mcgrath into the post face first!
Reid ashford: i'm impressed with something you came up with, jack. Really impressed, i am. But...
Mcgrath sits with his back against the pillar. Ashford hits him in the face with a knee.
Ride ashford: ...Now you'll see what i mean. This place is meant for scum.
Another knee strike to the face.
Ride ashford: this position is meant for monsters.
Third knee strike to the face.
Ride ashford: the apartment or house is meant for...
Ashford pivots for each knee strike, but mcgrath explodes with gender affiliation and hits ashford in the stomach with his shoulder again! They hit the grille of the brougham. Mcgrath hits ashford with a hard kick to the hood of the car. Mcgrath rises up and drops a knee to ashford's head.The impact leaves the back of ashford's head dented on the hood.
Jack mcgrath: it's not for you to determine who belongs here.
Mcgrath lifts ashford to his feet and performs a vertical drop (brainbuster)! Ashford's head flies through the windshield of the brougham! Mcgrath staggers to his feet. The expression on his face is a mixture of rage and regret. He calmly slides off the hood and that means out of the frame, leaving ashford holding in broken glass and blood.
In the first match of the night, "trailer park barbie" daisy duke faces the debuting "space shaman" ace skye. Both competitors appear in the ring and referee zack ebra announces the gong. Skye tries to engage, but duke shows him the "seconds" finger by talking to jamie mayer. The two share secrets like all the popular high school cuties that currently do mlm.
Dick delaire: daisy duke is far off her pace in razor wrestling. If such a one can't be careful, a veteran like ace skye could defeat her in minimal time.
Fiona matz: in contrast, ace skye may not be capable of this one like daisy duke. She's a tough, country young lady who can make chicken salad out of chicken shit.
Dick delaire: you wish to say...
Fiona metz: no, i don't wish to point out that a porn star eats shit.
The whisper session ends, and trailer park barbie wants to get this wrestling match started. At the wrestling show. Thank fuck!!! Some tension builds as duke approaches skye without any malice. Then she hits the tiles on the outside. The malice is palpable. There's a jerry springer-inspired "oooh" from the audience, so it's not like skye has any idea what to perceive. "Bad" is my guess, but i'm not his coach always.
Dick delaire: daisy duke tries to slap ace skye out of his face.
Fiona metz: or maybe she totally thinks such a face is worthy of a slap.
Dick delaire: can become and certainly.
Sky goes up for grabs, but duke hits the load again with a facial expression! You get a chance to believe this girl? She's really turned into a "mean girl". Have they fought in their movie yet? Who knows? The audience will not believe the audacity of this rival who grew up in a trailer park. It's shocking, really. Skye shrugs her shoulders and goes for another takedown. Not to be seen as duke attempts a third slap. But wait a second, on this move skye catches her by the wrist! A little slam! Skye pokes a finger in duke's face with a swear word. Bigger!
Fiona metz: it only took him three times to stop her! He's learning!
Dick delorier: ace skye is trying to wrestle. Daisy duke was content with trying to make the premise look silly.
Fiona matz: she's got a long way to go!
Duke is hit on the mat via takedown, but grows to her feet here, due to the fact that the porno asshole is so feisty. She tries to strike back, but gets a great dropkick from the cosmic shaman. The veteran is no slouch, let me tell you. Duke reveals herself, but this misfit is clearly frustrated beyond belief, which provokes rash action! It hits skye's jumping leg directly!
Dick delaire: ace skye's speed is incredibly impressive. It might seem like an athlete of the number of years hired was slowed down towards the end.
Fiona matz: how old is this guy? He's imitating a kid!
Dick delaire: i'm not ready.
Fiona matz: a kid the size of a man!
Dick delaire: so... An adult?
The crowd is cheering for ace skye. Is it because they like him or because she's not interested in daisy duke? I didn't have time to ask any resource user, so i'll say yes. Duke crawls back to the corner and lasts to jamie mayer, who stands helplessly at ringside. Duke gets up in the corner, being in this moment as skye pounces on her to deliver a shotgun blast! Duke shifts to the side! Skye hits the corner and is in a suspended position!"
Fiona matz: i told you so! Daisy is sneaky!
Ace skye is presented with a difficult circumstance. Daisy duke, per se, is furious, at the same time, the buy apartment sees an opportunity to turn this match around. She applies a dropkick and hits it! Duke is now tracking the match process! As many have flipped. Duke lifts skye to her feet, and afterward does a hip toss...
Dick delaire: test that agility!
...But ace skye immediately gets to her feet and bows. Daisy duke has yet to like it. No fit. Not even a little bit. None. She lunges at skye but he lays on his back and afterward gets up and goes behind her back. Vegas likes his showmanship, which is odd since vegas isn't famous for his production. Duke turns around naturally, primarily in time to dub a second jumping leg kick from skye! Bobby shitake arena explodes and chants of "go ace!"
Fiona metz: where have i heard that chant before?
Dick delaurier: i haven't. Throw the benefit out of your head sometimes.
Phiona metz: i seem to recall an incredible mane of hair...
Barbie from trailer park steps to her feet, but unfortunately, she gets hit with a lightning busaiku bolt! Daisy duke goes down, and ace skye jumps to the top rope. Briefly saluting the crowd, skye jumps off and delivers a galaxy leap (perfect shooting star press)! It's a hit! Skye hooks the leg, and referee ebra makes the count.
Big mouth mindy: here's your winner, "space shaman" ace skye!
The song "eye inside the sky" by the alan parsons project plays, and zack ebra raises ace skye's arm. Jamie mayer appears in the ring to monitor the condition of daisy duke. Skye bows to that side, and after stepping onto the top rope to celebrate with his own new legion of fans at bobby shitake arena.It's a beautiful scene, definitely not the one fans are used to seeing in vegas.
The shot cuts back to the office where general manager hank malone is usually found. Only now the poster on the door is taped over with a piece of paper that reads "interim general manager" sophie wimm. The word "interim," of course, is in very tiny print. Inside the room, wimm sits at hank's desk.She has perfect posture, and in front of her lies a pink notebook with a picture of a unicorn on the title.
Sophie whimm: sorry to interrupt the wrestling fan show, however i, razor wrestling general manager sophie wimm, have an important announcement to make.
The audience gives a friendly groan. Impressive, really.
Sophie wimm: i was in intense communication with razor president molly bones while she was present in italy. She asked me to announce that about three weeks after the real razor wrestling will present our culturally main event supershow!"
Good thing the fans are loving it. The mood has changed!
Sophie wimm: we're always online on grbg with superunknown on august 13! The card will be announced in minimal weeks, however i can point out that our team will see the semifinals and finals of the riggs & murtaugh tag team classic tournament! Hell yeah!
Damn yeah? Who the fuck says that?
Sophie wimm: i'm looking forward to announcing more super cool matches for all you super cute fans! But right now, we're going to go to trash land, right here in sunny las vegas, at the trash land invitational!
Roxi farrow: is he really going to show up this time?
Referee shrugs, standing at the entrance to trash land and looking at his watch. Moments later, a pea-green wood-paneled van pulls up to the entrance, the side door opens, and a blurry-faced ollie maverick emerges from it, looking like he's finishing getting dressed in his ring gear (though there's no ring, naturally).
Ollie maverick: sorry, sorry, sorry, my driver likes to use paper maps rather than gps like a caveman, so we got a little lost and had to find our way to a really bad gas station, but the good news is that i took a bunch of questionable supplements at the gas station, and i'm pumped, i'm focused, and i don't know what "horny ostrich extract" is, but my dick is now doing things i didn't even think it was capable of. Like, non-euclidean things. Hey, kahuna! How's the face?
Kid kahuna rubs the bandage on his head. Referee wes eastman shrugs and gives the signal for the fight to begin, which is rung by a man dressed as the raccoon mascot. Unaware of the rules, the contestants collectively shrug and begin throwing punches at each other
Ollie maverick: hey....Hey!
Everyone freezes for a moment.
Ollie maverick: boring! We're trying to have a lot of fun here, so i expect a little levity. I mean, this is garbage land! We want to have a good time! I brought you something to celebrate.
Everyone tensed as ollie reached into his ring jacket, but then he pulled out.... A set of raccoon ears? He hands them out to all the participants, and they each put them on. The attitude seems to be getting quirky and lighthearted. Fun park music plays and the rides start up. Ollie puts on his raccoon ears.
Ollie maverick: get creative! Spend some quality time! Ride a few of the rides! This is all to promote the park, so you'll have the cameras on you! Snacks and drinks are on me!
This is completely different from what the matchmakers were expecting, but everyone just shrugs and disperses to enjoy the park. Ollie watches them leave with a smile on his face that we at home can't see. He lets out a wistful sigh before walking back to his van and pulling out a golf bag filled to the brim with sports equipment, sharp gardening tools, and a few light bulbs. Ollie slings it over his shoulder.
Ollie maverick: this is going to be the best day of my life.
"I'll be honest, i'm a little just click the following internet page pissed off!"
We hear the words of world champion p.J. Lemon, who sits at the counter of a concession stand somewhere in the bobby shitake arena. She is stuffing a handful of popcorn into her mouth and the world title rests in her lap. To her left stands a frightened teenage girl.
Pj lemon: it's like... When i want to do something fun, i get turned down. I can't hit people with a belt. Can't set old bastards on fire. I can't have the curtain at the entrance be a giant picture of my belly. And then this ollie guy shows up and sets up a whole amusement park? I think it's bullshit. The teenager doesn't say anything. Lemon offers her some popcorn, but she's afraid to move.
pj lemon: i guess that's what i get for being top titty. Should be in the main event. I have to stand up to boring pussies like stormy. I'm supposed to be a role model for young women like you. Right?
Probably out of a sense of self-preservation, the teen agrees and nods his head frantically.
Pj lemon: you look up to me, don't you?
A moment of thought, then another nod of the head.
Pj lemon: of course you do! And why wouldn't you? I'm a strong, independent woman who came to this shithole and made it my kingdom! This bitch runs on sour power. Not on lightning or wind or what mark storm thinks. Right?
Tin: yep.
Pj lemon: but he keeps claiming otherwise. Apparently, i have to show them. I have to show everyone. Never mind that i've already defended this shit in two very intense singles bouts. People keep doubting. People continue to be intrigued. We can't have that, can we, teenage fan? No, ms. Lemon. So i'm gonna go redo stormy's face, and then maybe he'll back off. I'll do it for adoring fans like you.
Lemon takes the teen's chin and pats him on the forehead.
Pj lemon: i have to say.
Lemon grabs her belt and popcorn, hops off the counter and walks out of the frame. The teen breathes a sigh of relief before lemon comes back and spills the popcorn over her head. With an annoyed "ha!" Lemon leaves the frame again.
We're back to the fun and festivities in trash land, the camera now following roxy farrow, who is contemplating a scrambler while finishing a tray of "goodies" offered at the "food? Court" in trash country. The scrambler, for those unfamiliar, is a classic double spin carnival ride known for both its thrills and its effect on a person's stomach.
Ollie maverick: hey, i'm thinking of taking a ride! Come on, i'll start it up for you.
Ollie shoves roxy into one of the ride's seats and quickly lowers the safety bar.
Ollie maverick: hmmm... That doesn't inspire confidence, but i want to make sure you're safe, so, ....0
Ollie pulls out a "club" from his golf bag and uses it to completely lock the safety bar in place. Ollie takes the key out of the club and throws it a great distance. Roxy is now officially locked in the seat of the scrambler, and ollie heads to the controls of the ride...
Ollie maverick: i'm jealous of what you're about to see. Bye!
Ollie presses the big red button on the console, and the scrambler starts up.
Ollie maverick: i'll be back to check on you later! Is there anything you need? Cotton candy? A soda?
After the fifth turn, roxy is nauseous, but ollie is too busy to notice.
Ollie maverick: ...Popcorn? I can make popcorn. I'll be right back!
Ollie notices corvo proteado and tormenta jumping onto the boat, which slowly moves forward into a dark tunnel.
Ollie maverick: a tunnel of love? Those two? Man, i didn't realize that. Love is love, i guess.
Ollie says this without a hint of sarcasm, irony or judgment, looking at the sign above the queue for the attraction to see what it is.
Ollie maverick: 'it's a trash world...?' How the fuck that place haven't been sued into oblivion yet?"
Ollie shrugs. He pulls a toy out of his golf bag, leaves the bag at the entrance to the attraction and, instead of transferring to the nearest boat, jumps into the knee-deep and wildly muddy water. The camera returns to proteado and tormenta on the boat as they swim past display cases with raccoons and possums of all nationalities snacking on all sorts of tasty garbage from around the world.
"It's a world of garbage cansa world of shita world of garbageand a world of scrap metalthere's so much out therethere's so much to eat. Lots of foodafter all, it's trash worldafter all, it's trash worldafter all, it's trash worldafter all, it's trash worldafter all, it's trash worldafter all, it's trash world, trash world'
Torementa: this place is getting sued in...
Ollie maverick: into oblivion. Yes, that's what i said.
Torementa: yes, i...
Torementa looks around for whoever said that, and sees only proteado, who looks just as confused.
The next thing they see is a small paddle. But, like the.... Moving very fast. Ollie dives out of the muddy water and hits torment in the face with a plastic kayak paddle, which immediately breaks.
Ollie maverick: hey guys! Enjoying the park?
Ollie's tone of voice is sincere and not at all aggressive. One gets the impression that ollie would be embarrassed to learn that tormenta and proteado aren't having as much fun as he is.
Ollie hums to the beat of the song, and corvo proteado pounces on him, sending both of them off the boat and into the muddy shallows. A few blows to ollie's face bring him to his senses, and corvo climbs off him